FUNNY GIRL

Music by Jule Styne

Lyrics by Bob Merrill

Book by Isobel Lennart

Musical Numbers Staged by Carol Haney

Production Supervised by Jerome Robbins

Directed by Garson Kanin

Cast
Fanny Brice Barbra Streisand
John, Stage Manager Robert Howard
Emma Royce Wallace
Mrs. Brice Kay Medford
Mrs. Strakosh Jean Stapleton
Mrs. Meeker Lydia S. Fredericks
Mrs. O'Malley Joyce O'Neil
Tom Keeney Joseph Macaulay
Eddie Ryan Danny Meehan
Heckie Victor R. Helou
Workmen Robert Howard, Robert Henson
Snub Taylor Buzz Miller
Trombone Smitty Blair Hammond
Five-Finger Finney Alan E. Weeks
Trumpet Soloist Dick Perry
Bubbles Shellie Farrell
Polly Joan Lowe
Maude Ellen Halpin
Nick Arnstein Sydney Chaplin
Two Showgirls Sharon Vaughn, Diana Lee Nielsen
Stage Director Marc Jordan
Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr. Roger DeKoven
Mimsey Sharon Vaughn
Jenny Diane Coupe
Ziegfeld Tenor John Lankston
Jody, Ziegfeld Lead Dancer George Reeder
Adolph John Langston
Mrs. Nadler Rose Randolf
Paul Larry Fuller
Cathy Joan Cory
Vera Lanie Kazan
Ben Buzz Miller
Mr. Renaldi Marc Jordan

FUNNY GIRL opened at the Winter Garden Theatre on March 26, 1964 and ran for 1,348 performances.  The original cast album was recorded on April 5, 1964 and released on August 5, 1964.  According to the liner notes released with the CD version of the album, FUNNY GIRL began as a screenplay called MY MAN by Isobel Lennart; when this failed to be made into a film, it was adapted for the stage and Jule Styne was hired to compose the score, Stephen Sondheim to write the lyrics and Mary Martin to star.  Sondheim quit; then Jerome Robbins was hired to direct, and Martin was out; Fanny would be played by Anne Bancroft.  However, producer David Merrick wanted to use Streisand who had appeared in his previous musical, I CAN GET IT FOR YOU WHOLESALE.  Meantime Bob Merrill--writer of, among other things, the novelty numbers IF I KNEW YOU WERE COMIN' I'D'VE BAKED A CAKE (1950), MY TRULY TRULY FAIR (1951), HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW? (1953) and MAMBO ITALIANO (1954), the music and lyrics for NEW GIRL IN TOWN (1957), the music and lyrics for TAKE ME ALONG (1959) and the music and lyrics for CARNIVAL (1961)--had replaced Sondheim as lyricist.  Styne and Merrill presented Bancroft with five songs, including DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE, THE MUSIC THAT MAKES ME DANCE and PEOPLE and she didn't see herself in the role.  Finally, Streisand was hired, then Robbins quit over disagreements about the book and, briefly, Bob Fosse and then Sidney Lumet was the director.  Finally Garson Kanin became the director of record.  Then Merrick left as producer, leaving Ray Stark, Fanny Brice's son-in-law as the sole producer.  The show underwent so many changes, that Jule Styne wrote 56 pieces of music for it.  While the show was in out of town tryouts, Garson Kanin left and Jerome Robbins returned as director, although with the title "production supervisor".  Rewrites of the final scene reportedly went through 42 revisions and continued up through the opening night on Broadway.  The logo was inspired by a cut song, I DID IT ON ROLLER SKATES.

FUNNY GIRL was nominated for the Tony for Best Musical but lost to HELLO, DOLLY.  Sydney Chaplin was nominated for Best Actor in a Musical but lost to Bert Lahr in FOXY.  Barbra Streisand was nominated for Best Actress in a Musical but lost to Carol Channing in HELLO, DOLLY.   Danny Meehan was nominated for Best Supporting or Featured Actor in a Musical but lost to Jack Cassidy in SHE LOVES ME.  Kay Medford was nominated for Best Supporting or Featured Actress in a Musical but lost to Tessie O'Shea in THE GIRL WHO CAME TO SUPPER.  Carol Haney was nominated for Best Choreographer but lost to Gower Champion for HELLO, DOLLY.  Jule Styne and Bob Merrill were nominated as Best Composer and Lyricist but lost to Jerry Herman for HELLO, DOLLY.

Streisand remained in FUNNY GIRL through Christmas of 1965 and then went on to star in the London version.  Writing in THE SEASON (Limelight 1984), William Goldman, appropos of the difficulty of actors stuck in long runs, observed:  "Late in her FUNNY GIRL run, I saw Barbra Streisand give a performance indistinguishable in all ways from what Jerry Lewis would have done with the part, and I mean that. She moved like Jerry Lewis, mugged like Jerry Lewis, and except when she sang, sounded like him. She was dying of boredom and very clearly didn’t care about her performance, and it very clearly didn’t matter to the audience, who loved her".

MIMI HINES replaced Streisand and stayed with the show a year.  FUNNY GIRL closed July 1, 1967 after a run of 1,348 performances.  It was made into a film in 1968, which was nominated for 8 Oscars and won one, Best Actress for Barbra Streisand.  A film sequel, FUNNY LADY, was made in 1975.

I saw FUNNY GIRL at a June 17, 1967 matinee when a first row orchestra seat cost $5.50.  I also saw the show July 19, 1966, but I have lost the ticket stub for that so can't quote the price which was probably similar.   The cast for these productions included:

7/19/66 Cast

6/17/67 Cast

Fanny Brice Mimi Hines Mimi Hines
John, Stage Manager Robert Howard Robert Howard
Emma Royce Wallace Royce Wallace
Mrs. Brice Fritzi Burr Fritzi Burr
Mrs. Strakosh Beulah Garrick Elizabeth Moore
Mrs. Meeker Karen Ford Karen Ford
Mrs. O'Malley Jeanne McLaren Stephanie Reynolds
Tom Keeney Joseph Macaulay Joseph Macaulay
Eddie Ryan Phil Ford Phil Ford
Heckie Victor Helou Ken Richards
Workmen Robert Howard, Albert Zimmerman Robert Howard, Hal Norman
Snub Taylor Larry Fuller Bud Spencer
Trombone Smitty Bud Spencer John Nola
Five Finger Finney Alan E. Weeks John D. Richardson
Bubbles Shellie Farrell Shellie Farrell
Polly Joan Lowe Joan Lowe
Maude Edie Cowan Shirley Nelson
Nick Arnstein Johnny Desmond Johnny Desmond
Two Showgirls Barbara Rhoades, Lynette Bennett Virginia Kerr, Lynette Bennett
Stage Director Marc Jordan Richard Miller
Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr. William Larsen William Larsen
Mimsey Barbara Rhoades Virginia Kerr
Ziegfeld Tenor Larry Brucker Larry Brucker
Ziegfeld Lead Dancer George Reeder George Reeder
Adolph Larry Brucker Larry Brucker
Mrs. Nadler Rose Randolf Rose Randolf
Paul Larry Fuller John Nola
Cathy Lynette Bennett Lynette Bennett
Vera Donna Monroe Donna Monroe
Jenny Linda Jorgens Lynette Bennett
Ben Buzz Miller (missing from Playbill)
Mr. Renaldi Marc Jordan Richard Miller

Mimi Hines and Phil Ford were a comic duo in clubs and on TV variety shows, although Mimi started out as a singer.  They made their TV debut on the JACK PAAR SHOW on August 28, 1958.  FUNNY GIRL marked Mimi's Broadway debut.  Phil Ford wrote much of the material in their act, having graduated from vaudeville when still in his teens.  He sang comedy and novelty songs with various small bands before forming his own band but gave this up to pursue comedy.

Johnny Desmond was a popular singer who had earlier appeared on Broadway in SAY, DARLING.  As a teenager he had been a radio actor on the LONE RANGER and GREEN HORNET series and later formed a vocal group which Bob Crosby signed and called "The Bob-O-Links".  His solo singing career started with Glenn Miller's Air Force Band and he was heard regularly on Don McNeill's BREAKFAST CLUB.  He appeared in a number of films, including THE HIGH AND THE MIGHTY.

OVERTURE

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte of Jule Styne's lush overture from the original Broadway cast album.

If a Girl Isn't Pretty

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

FUNNY GIRL is the life of vaudeville comedienne Fanny Brice (1891-1951), starting in 1910.  Actually the show starts after she has become a success on stage and flashes back to her origins.  It opens in Fanny's dressing room.  She is waiting for her husband, Nick Arnstein, to return after being in prison.  She looks back to when she was a 19-year old hopeful.  Her mother's poker buddies think she's wasting her life trying to break into show business.
Mrs. Strakosh: Fanny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter--especially the male element--they want something to look at!

If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City,
All she gets in life
Is pity and a pat.

Mrs. Brice: Is a nose with deviation
Such a crime against the nation?
Should I throw her into jail
Or drown the cat?
Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and Meeker: She must shine in ev'ry detail
Like a ring you're buying retail,
Be a standard size that
Fits a standard dress.
Mrs. Strakosh: When a girl's incidentals
Are no bigger than two lentils
Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley and Meeker: Then to me that doesn't spell success.

Fanny auditions for Keeney's Music Hall but Keeney kicks her out of the chorus because she doesn't look like the others.  Eddie Ryan, dance director for Keeney, agrees:
Eddie: If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City,
She should dump the stage
And try another route.
Any guy who pays a quarter
For a seat just feels he oughter
See a figger that his wife can't
Substitute.

Kid, my heart ain't made of marble
But your rhythm's really horr'ble
And that map of yours just ain't no
Valentine.
Everything you got's about right,
But the damn thing don't come out right
So forget it, kid,
And just resign.

Chorus: If a girl isn't pretty,
If a girl isn't pretty,
If a girl isn't pretty,
If a girl isn't pretty,
If a girl isn't pretty,
She should get a job,
Go get a job--
Get any job
Get a weekly pay,
'Cause if a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City,
She's a real Miss Nobody, U.S.A.


I'm the Greatest Star

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Fanny waits for Eddie to come out of the theatre and tries to explain that she doesn't fit into the chorus because she's got star potential.

Listen,
I've got thirty-six expressions--
Sweet as pie to tough as leather,
And that's six expressions more
Than all them Barrymores put together.
Instead of just kicking me
Why don't they give me a lift?
It must be a plot,
'Cause they're scared that I got
Such a gift--well, I'm miffed--'cause
I'm the greatest star--
I am by far, but no one knows it!
Wait, they're gonna hear a voice,
A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah--
They'll cheer each toot
(Yay!  She's terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now, can't you see to look at me
That I'm a nach'ral Camille?
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer.
Kid, I know I'd be divine because
I'm a nach'ral cougher.
(coughs)
Some ain't got it--not a lump,
I'm a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
They'll bend in half.
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes:
Stick around for the jokes,
A thousand faces.  I reiterate,
When you're gifted,
Then you're gifted,
These are facts--I got no axe to grind.
Hey, what are they--blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star!
Who is the pip with piz-azz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an American Beauty rose
With an American Beauty nose,
And ten American Beaty toes,
Eyes on the target, and wham--
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Ziegfeld, here I am!
I'm the greatest star,
I am by far,
But no one knows it!
That's why I was born--
I'll blow my horn
Till someone blows it!
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker, then flare up
All the world's gonna stare up
Lookin' down
You'll never see me--
Try the sky,
'Cause that'll be me.
I can make 'em cry,
I can make 'em sigh,
Someday they'll clamor
For my dram-er.
Have you guessed yet,
Who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell you one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest, greatest star!


Cornet Man

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Fanny convinces Eddie she has talent and he agrees to teach her the specialty for the next audition.  She gets the job.  I

Well--
I just put the kids to sleep
And swept the shack,
Took my sweet man's satchel down
And watched him pack,
I said, "Darlin', while the stove still smolders,
Unpin your woman's hair and rub her shoulders."
I threw myself across the doorway
Beggin', "Stay, sweet man, stay,"
But there's more in my man's life
Than this old hag.
It's Jelly Roll Morton, and a shiny cornet,
And jazzin' the rag!
The lady ain't been born
Can take the place of a horn,
With a cornet man.
A-goin' where there's blowin',
Trav'lin' cornet man.
Just anytime they call him
He'll leave his wife and kiddies
Sittin' with their tongues out
To play for peanuts in a dive
And blow his lungs out.
He'll hop a choo-choo on a moment's notice
To play some dates with Billy Bates
Or Rag-time Otis!
The lady ain't see light
Can give a horn a fair fight
With a cornet man
A rootin', shootin', ever-tootin' Dapper Dan
Who carries in his satchel
A powder-blue Norfolk suit,
A silver-plated wah-wah mute,
There is whiskey, gamblin'--each one is a curse,
But I'm up against a devil that's worse.
Yes, a horn is my thorn,
My trav'lin' cornet man!

Kill yourself!  Tell me about it!  Yeah!  Yeah!

A powder-blue Norfolk suit,
I said a silver-plated wah-wah mute,
Oh he's shy on height,
He's short on weight,
But he's the only man can make my coffee perculate,
A Dapper Dan,
My cornet-playin' man.

After the performance, Nick Arnstein comes backstage, elegant in formal dress, to pay off a gambling debt to Keeney.  Nick has seen the show and tells Fanny she's going to be a big star some day.   Fanny asks how much Keeney is paying her, and Nick manages to jack up her salary by pretending to bid on behalf of a competitor.  He gives her his card and kisses her hand.  Eddie asks Fanny out for a date, but she only wants to be friends; already she has fallen for Nick, but imagines she'll never see him again.


Who Taught Her Everything?

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Months later, Fanny has had a telegram from Florenz Ziegfeld; Eddie suspects it's a job offer.  Eddie and Mrs. Brice fantasize as they help Fanny get ready for this interview:
Mrs. Brice: Eddie, the Ziegfeld Follies!
Now she belongs to the ages!
My work is done,
My work is done,
Eddie: Our work is done,
She doesn't need us,
She'll have cake,
We'll have crumbs.
Be careful of the stage door,
Here she comes, here she comes.
Hello,
Fanny, hello.
Mrs. Brice: Hello, Fanny--it's me--Mama.
What do you mean--Mama who?
Eddie: It's good to see her . . . from afar,
Mrs. Brice: I lost a daughter but I gained a star.
Eddie: That's Broadway!
And
Who taught her ev'rything she knows?
I taught her ev'rything she knows--
She sings like a bird--
(Whistles)
Yes, indeed!
But who used to stand there
And feed her the seed?
Who taught her how to pick her clothes?
Mrs. Brice: Eddie, that I did.
Eddie: Yeah, but who taught her her how to tap her toes?
But will she admit it?
Kid, you said it.
They all forget they know ya
When it comes to credit.
Tell me have you ever seen her take this pose?
I taught her ev'rything--
How to hoof,
And how to sing,
I taught her ev'rything she knows.
Mrs. Brice: Wait, Eddie--she'll blame us yet.
Who taught her ev'rything she knows?
Eddie: Let me hear it, Rosie.
Mrs. Brice: I taught her ev'rything she knows.
Eddie: Ain't it the truth!
Mrs. Brice: That mischievous smile,
The devil may care,
You don't pull
Such mannerisms
Out of the air.
The men who are older might prefer
The original manufactur-er.
Both: It hurts me to say it,
But why not be fair--
When you see her on the stage
You're seein' me there.
Mrs. Brice: She still has trouble executin' one of those,
Eddie: If they could have paid the price,
They'd have hired Rosie Brice,
Mrs. Brice: Who stands after every show
Sellin' matches in the snow.
Eddie: But in the world of grease paint,
That's the way it goes.
Both: We taught her everything--
How to hoof and how to sing,
We taught her how to wack
A joke from here to Hackensack--ya, ha, ha, ha!
We taught her everything,
We taught her ev'rything she knows.


His Love Makes Me Beautiful

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Fanny is now part of the Ziegfeld Follies.  She tells Florenz Ziegfeld she doesn't want to be in the finale because she finds the lyrics inappropriate but Ziegfeld insists.
Tenor: For better or for worse, "Oh Promise Me,"
Why does ev'ry bride glow ravishingly?
Within the secret heart of ev'ry bride
These are the words repeating, repeating,
Repeating inside:  (Bing, bong, bing, bong)

You are the beautiful reflection
Of his love's affection,
A walking illustration
Of his adoration

His love makes you beautiful,
So beautiful,
So beautiful,
You ask your looking glass,
What is it?
Makes you so exquisite?
The answer to your query
Comes back, dearie--
His love makes you beautiful,
So beautiful,
So beautiful,
And woman loved is woman glorified!
You'll make a beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful bride!

Chorus: Here comes the bride,
Another beautiful bride.
Ziegfeld presents her
With justifiable pride.
Fanny enters with a pillow stuffed under her bridal gown so that she appears pregnant.
Fanny: I am the beautiful reflection
Of my love's affection,
A walking illustration
Of his adoration.
His love makes me beautiful,
So beautiful,
So beautiful,
Tenor: And woman loved is woman glorified--
Fanny: I'll make a beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful--

I'm beautiful?  Oy!

Chorus: You are so beautiful,
You are so beautiful,
You are so beautiful,
Tenor: Such a beautiful bride.


I Want to be Seen With You Tonight

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Afterwards, Ziegfeld is angry but agrees she was right to go for the comedy.  Nick Arnstein comes backstage and wants to escort Fanny out to celebrate her opening night.  Fanny would love to go out with Nick but she's obligated to appear at a party at her mother's saloon; she invites Nick and he accepts.
Nick: I want to be seen, be seen with you,
With you on my arm,
To wear you like a charm,
Your glitter decorating my arm.
Now, natch'rally such proximity
Gives rumors a rise,
We'll let them analyze
What our amalgamation implies.
Oh yes,
The gossips will press,
So willing to stress
The seamy side--
Know what?
So what!
I want to be seen, be seen with you,
With you on my arm.
Let's give this town a light,
And hit it like a me-te-or-ite--tonight.
I want to be seen with you.
Fanny: The moon over mother's saloon,
Have a nice macaroon
I'll buy you a light beer.
Nick: Right, dear.
Both: I want to be seen, be seen with you,
Nick: With you on my arm.
Let's give this town a light
And hit it like a me-te-or-ite--
Both: Tonight--I want to be seen with,
Nick: Oh, please let me be seen with,
Fanny: And I would like to be seen with
Both: I want to be seen with you.


Henry Street

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Rose Brice's Saloon on Henry Street is the center of a block party decorated with banners congratulating Fanny.  The neighbors and party guests all sing:
All: Henry Street,
No, it ain't Broadway, it's Henry Street.
Way after midnight
Lit up as bright as a lighthouse
Brighter tonight than the White House.
Boys: We're proud to tell you that C.P.A.'s
We got in dozens, and lawyers, take your choice.
Messes and messes of young D.D.-esses,
A looney who teaches voice,
Girls: Ah, ha, ha, ha--
All: Henry Street has something it ain't had so far:
The greatest, most glamorous, genuine, glorified
Ziegfeld star.
We're proud to tell you that C.P.A.'s
We got in dozens, and lawyers, take your choice.
Messes and messes of young D.D.-esses,
A looney who teaches voice,
Ah, ha, ha, ha--
Henry Street has something it ain't had so far:
The greatest, most glamorous, genuine, glorified
Ziegfeld star.


People

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Fanny and Nick steal a private moment at the party and discover they are both a little lonely.  Fanny sings:

We travel single-oh
Maybe we're lucky, but I don't know--
With them,
Just let one kid fall down
And seven mothers faint.
I guess we're both happy, but maybe--
We ain't.

People--people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world,
We're children, needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
Than children.

Lovers are very special people,
They're the luckiest people
In the world.
With one person, one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half,
Now you're whole.
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person
Who needs people.
People who need people
Are the luckiest people
In the world!

Nick has to leave the party early because he's going to Kentucky the next day but promises to call Fanny when he returns to New York.


You are Woman

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Nick and Fanny meet up in Baltimore where Fanny is on a tour with Ziegfeld's latest show.  They have dinner at a private dining room.  Fanny is annoyed that Nick hasn't been in touch for ten months.  Nick orders, mainly in French, which Fanny doesn't understand.  Fanny is uneasy that Nick might make advances in such an intimate room.
Nick: You are woman, I am man,
You are smaller, so I can be taller than,
You are softer to the touch,
It's a feeling I like feeling very much.
You are someone I've admired,
Still, our friendship
Leaves something to be desired.
Does it take more explanation than this?
You are woman, I am man--
Let's kiss.
Fanny: Isn't this the height of nonchalance,
Furnishing a bed in restaurants?
Well, a bit of dinner never hurt,
But guess who is gonna be dessert?
Do good girls do just what mama says,
When mama's not around?
It's a feeling,
Oy vey, what a feeling.
Nick: A bit of paté?
Fanny: I drink it all day.

Should I do the things he'll tell me to?
In this pickle what would Nellie do?
In my soul I feel an inner lack,
Just suppose he wants his dinner back?

Both: Does it take more explanation than this?
Fanny: Just some dried-out toast in a sliver,
On the top a little chopped liver.

How many girls become a sinner
While waiting for a roast beef dinner?
Though most girls slip in ordinary ways
I got style--I do it bordelaise.
Well, at least he thinks I'm special
--He ordered a la carte.
It's a feeling I like feeling very . . .
I feel the feeling down to my toes.
Now I feel that there's a fire here,
Try that once a little higher, dear,
What a beast to ruin such a pearl,
Would a convent take a Jewish girl?

Both: Does it take more explanation than this?
Fanny: Ooo, the thrills and chills goin' through me,
If I stop him now,
Can he sue me?
Nick: You are woman . . .
Fanny: You are man . . .
Both: Let's kiss!


Don't Rain on My Parade

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

At the end of the Baltimore run, Fanny's train is leaving to go on to to Chicago, while Nick must catch the train for New York and then head to Europe.  Nick tells Fanny he loves her and she suggests he marry her, but he wants to have a fortune before he does.  On the spur of the moment, Fanny decides to leave the tour and follow Nick to New York.  Eddie who has arrived to visit tries to talk her out of it.  Ziegfeld tries as well, but Fanny is intent on following Nick; she has success in show business and now she wants a personal life as well.  Eddie tries to advise her one more time, "Don't", and she replies:

Don't tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life's candy and the sun's
A ball of butter.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade.
Don't tell me not to fly--
I've simply got to.
If someone takes a spill,
It's me and not you.
Who told you you're allowed
To rain on my parade!
I'll march my band out,
I'll beat my drum,
And if I'm fanned out,
Your turn at bat, sir.
At least I didn't fake it.
Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it!
But whether I'm the rose
Of sheer perfection,
Or freckle on the nose
Of life's complexion,
The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye,
I gotta fly once,
I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, love is juicy,
Juicy, and you see
I gotta have my bite, sir!
Get ready for me, love,
'Cause I'm a "comer,"
I simply gotta march,
My heart's a drummer.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade!

I'm gonna live and live now,
Get what I want--I know how,
One roll for the whole shebang,
One throw, that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target--and wham--
One shot, one gun shot, and bam--
Hey, Mister Arnstein, here I am!
I'll march my band out,
I will beat my drum,
And if I'm fanned out,
Your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn't fake it.
Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it.
Get ready for me, love,
'Cause I'm a "comer,"
I simply gotta march,
My heart's a drummer.
Nobody, no, nobody
Is gonna rain on my parade!


Sadie, Sadie

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Act II opens with the newly wed Fanny and Nick arriving at their home in Long Island.  Fanny's friends have prepared a surprise party for them.  Ziegfeld is there, hoping Fanny will be in his new show; he's even hired her friend Eddie as dance director.  Fanny's Ziegfeld friends ask her what it's like be married and she replies:
Fanny: I'm Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Bow when I go by.
I'm a corporation now,
Not me, myself and I.
Oh how that marriage license works
On chambermaids and hotel clerks.
The honeymoon was such delight
That we got married that same night.
I'm Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Still in bed at noon,
Racking my brain deciding
Between orange juice and prune.
Nick says nothing is too good for me,
And who am I not to agree?
I'm Sadie, Sadie, married lady, that's me!
All: She's Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Fanny: Meet a mortgagee,
All: The owner of an icebox
Fanny: With a ten-year guarantee.
Oh, sit me in the softest seat,
Quick, a cushion for my feet.
Do for me, buy for me, lift me, carry me,
Finally got a guy to marry me!
I do my nails,
Read up on sales,
All day the records play.
Then he comes home, I tell him
Oy--what a day I had today!
I swear I'll do my wifely job,
Just sit at home--become a slob!
I'm Sadie, Sadie, married lady, that's me!
All: She's Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Boys: Sadie, you did the trick.
Fanny: It's nothing!
Girls: Not ev'ry girl can get herself
A guy who looks like Nick.
Fanny: Wait, to tell the truth, it hurt my pride--
The groom was prettier than the bride.
All: Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Fanny: Husband, house, a mortgage, a baby,
All: Sadie, Sadie, married lady,
Fanny: That's who?
All: That's you.
Fanny: That's me--married lady.
All: Say hello to Ziegfeld's married lady--Sadie!


Find Yourself a Man

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Time has passed.  Fanny has given birth to a daughter, Frances, who is now five months old, and Fanny is going back into the new Ziegfeld show.  Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh suggest that Fanny's mother needs a new interest in life.
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: Find yourself a man--
Mrs. Brice: You're demented.
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: Find yourself a man--
Mrs. Brice: That's just what I need.
Eddie: You'll see what a difference it makes ev'ry day.
Mrs. Brice: Send me a letter,
You'll write me a resumé
Mrs. Strakosh: Just take me and Dave--
Mrs. Brice: Romeo and Juliet--
Eddie: Dave is still her slave.
Mrs. Brice: Send the slave my regards!
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: Open your heart and from out of the skies
A prince on a horse will materialize.
Mrs. Brice: Boy, is some lucky prince
Gonna get a surprise!
All: Find a man!
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: Find yourself a man,
Mrs. Strakosh: I repeat it, Rose.
Mrs. Brice: Find myself a man.
Eddie: You're defeated, Rose.
Mrs. Brice: I'll hang a sign out,
Big letters that high,
Come in and sample
You don't have to buy.
Eddie: Hear a voice talk back.
Mrs. Brice: I hear voices now.
Mrs. Strakosh: Money you don't lack--
Mrs. Brice: Why, you've been countin'?
Just what I need is a middle-aged sheik
Whose uppers and lowers
Will click when he'll speak,
And life is a song 'cause he'll click and I'll creak.
All: Find a man.
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: The man that you select--
Mrs. Brice: What about him?
Eddie and Mrs. Strakosh: Must treat you with respect.
Mrs. Brice: That's important.
Eddie: He must understand there
Are rules to obey,
Not toy with your morals
And lead you astray.
Mrs. Brice: Please, darling, let the man do things his way.
Mrs. Strakosh and Eddie: Find a man--
Mrs. Brice: I'm a grandmother!
Mrs. Strakosh: Find a man--
Mrs. Brice: You got somebody in mind?
All: Find yourself
A man.


Rat-Tat-Tat-Tat

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.  Click here for a video of Mimi Hines, Phil Foster and the chorus performing a version of this on ED SULLIVAN, followed by Mimi singing WHO ARE YOU NOW.

[In 2004 a 27 minute DVD was released of the portion of the FORD 50TH ANNIVERSARY TV special  from 1953 with Ethel Merman and Mary Martin.  On this DVD was a production number of Ethel Merman and some chorus boys in WWI doughboy costumes singing MADEMOISELLE FROM ARMENTIERES.  The staging for this number, which was by Jerome Robbins, was very similar to RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT in FUNNY GIRL, which bears the credit "production supervised by Jerome Robbins".]

Nick asks Flo to invest in a casino Nick has decided to launch, but Flo's money is tied up in his new show, so Fanny becomes Nick's partner.  Fanny is featured in the new 1920 Ziegfeld Follies World War I tribute number:
Eddie: Our boys went rat-tat-tat-tat,
Rat-tat-tat-tat,
And shot the Kaiser where he sat-tat-tat-at.
With every poppity-pop,
Some Kraut took a drop.
American boys are all such straight shooters--
We'll take care of him, Mother,
When he comes home from the war.
We'll take care of him, Mother,
We'll do everything that you would do--yeah--and more.
Rat-tat-tat-tat,
We'll give their backs a big pat.
They deserve a future full of joys
'Cause they're our Yankee Doodle,
Yankee Doodle,
Yankee Doodle,
Doughboys.
Company--Order--Arms--Roll Call--
Company: I'm Private Jones from Arkansas,
I'm Private Smith from Kansas,
I'm Private Ryan from Maine,
I'm Private Burke from Wisconsin,
I'm Private O'Brien from Texas,
I'm Private Muntz from Michigan,
Fanny: .I'm Private Schvartz from Rock-a-way,
And I guess you heard reports
That the Kaiser runs a block away
When they tell him, here comes Schvartz,
'Cause ven I get mad, believe it, Jack,
Out from nowhere comes a maniac,
A kick in the foot,
A shot in the pants--
I wouldn't give a second chance.
Schvartz from Rock-a-way.
Chorus: Private Schwartz
Private Schwartz
Private Schwartz from Rock-a-way.
Fanny: I met Mademoiselle from Armentieres
And my bagels gave a spin (oy, yoy),
She said, Private Schvartz,
Come closer, dear!
What a tzimmis I got in!
Ven you're fighting for democracy,
Call on Irving Schvartz and company,
I'm through and through
Red, white and bluish,
I talk this way
Because I'm British.
Tell Far Rock-a-way, don't pull the dock away,
'Cause sailing home is General Schvartz.
All: Rat-ta ta ta ta tat,
We'll give their backs a big pat.
They deserve a great big medal
And a loud huzzah,
Over here and over there
You'll hear
Rat-tat a tat tat,
Rat-tat a tat tat,
Rat tat a tat tat tat,
That's our Yankee Doodle,
Yankee Doodle
Rat tat a tat tat tat
Hurrah.


Who Are You Now?

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Nick is not in the audience for Fanny's opening night, and she's worried, but when he makes a late appearance at the party, she's angry at him until he tells her that a hurricane has destroyed their casino and he's lost all her money.  Fanny doesn't think it's that big a deal, and this makes Nick angry.  Fanny doesn't understand why.

Who are you now,
Now that you're mine?
Are you something more
Than you were before?
Are you warmer in the rain,
Are you stronger for my touch,
Am I giving too little
By my lovin' you too much?
How is the view,
Sunny and green?
How do you compare it to
The views you've seen?
I know I am better, braver and surer too,
But you--are you now--
Who are you now?
Are you someone better for my love?


The Music That Makes Me Dance

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

Trying to help, Fanny puts up $20,000 so that Nick can become a theatrical agent, but he sees through her ploy and it angers and humiliates him.  Desperate for money, he agrees to participate in a fraudulent bond deal and is arrested for embezzlement.  Fanny realizes that somehow she has driven Nick to this.

I add two and two, the most simple addition,
Then swear that the figures are lying,
I'm a much better comic than mathematician
'Cause I'm better on stage than at intermission,
And as far as the man is concerned,
If I've been burned,
I haven't learned.

I know he's around when the sky and the ground start in ringing,
I know that he's near by the thunder I hear in advance,
His words--his words alone--are the words that can start my heart singing,
And his is the only music that makes me dance.

He'll sleep and he'll rise, in the light of two eyes that adore him.
Bore him it might, but he won't leave my sight for a glance.
In ev'ry way, ev'ry day, I need less of myself and need more him--more him,
'Cause his is the only music that makes me dance,
'Cause his is the only music that makes me dance.


Don't Rain on My Parade (Reprise)

Click here for a 30-second soundbyte from the original Broadway cast album.

The time has returned to the opening scene, with Fanny in her dressing room, remembering her past.  It's the day Nick gets out of prison after eighteen months.  Fanny tells Ziegfeld she's ready to give up performing if Nick asks her.  Nick arrives and tells her he thinks they should split up.  Fanny is rocked but pretends this is what she feels also.  Nick leaves, and Fanny prepares to face the future without him.

I'll march my band out,
I'll beat my drum,
Guess we didn't make it,
At least I didn't fake it.
Don't tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life's candy; the sun's
A ball of butter.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade.
I'm gonna live and live now,
Get what I want I know how,
All that the law will allow.
Hey, gorgeous, here we go again.
Well, here it goes, kid,
No lookin' back,
Stiff upper nose, kid,
Let's give 'em hell, Brice,
We'll cry a little later,
Well, Brice, that's life in the the-a-ter!
Get ready for me, world,
'Cause I'm a "comer,"
I simply gotta march,
My heart's a drummer.
Nobody, no, nobody
Is gonna rain on my parade.


For rights to put on the show, contact Tams Witmark

Commentary by Judy Harris

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