Institute of Holistic Computer Wellness 

Everybody working with computers has probably experienced days when nothing seemed to work, from an unusual frequency of typos to difficulties in clicking the mouse on exactly the right spot to downright crashes. Of course, the technical people always either blame the user for such things, or some program, or the hardware. But when it comes to actually finding the mistake, the "experts" are often enough at loss just like anybody else. There is a special term they use for the problems that are the hardest to diagnose: intermittent failures. What they mean is, that although you may go through exactly the same steps that once led to a crash, it may not happen the next time round. But, of course, this also works other way around: doing exactly what you always do may sometimes crash your machine.

Computers have become so incredibly complex that they also share some of the problems of living organisms. Everybody has heard about computer virus infections. But this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many computer diseases, and even before symptoms become obvious there is often a subtle imbalance, which is ultimately the cause of serious problems, but which is impossible to diagnose for the computer operator hooked on his pre-Aquarian mechanistic view of computers and, perhaps, the world. We at the  Institute of Holistic Computer Wellness have done extensive research on these problems, and have found that ideas from holistic medicine actually help to diagnose and to treat intermittent computer failures. In some cases we achieved dramatic improvements.  Click here for information on:


Computer Homeopathy. Unlike conventional "allopathic" medicine, which uses artificial interventions to oppose a disease process,  homeopathic medicine is based on the principle "like cures like,"  in other words that toxic substances, if extremely diluted, can serve as potent and harmless remedies for the very symptoms they would cause if taken in large amounts.  This is also the fundamental principle of Computer Homeopathy.  A remedy against a particular virus is obtained by taking the bit string of a virus, and diluting it with a random sequence of bits, which involves replacing half of the string by the random bits, and reshuffling by a sequence of random permutations. It is of the essence that these bits are truly random and not so-called pseudo-random numbers which are generated by a merely deterministic algorithm. After a number of such dilutions, a single bit is removed for use as the homeopathic remedy. When this bit is placed in the root directory of your computer, it will enhance your computer's natural resistance against attacks of that particular virus.  Because the homeopathic data is not executed, it exerts its influence gently and naturally, without the harmful side effects and incompatibilities sometimes encountered with harsh purgatives or other allopathic anti virus treatments.
The decimal dilution scale customary in Human Homeopathy ("X12" means 12 dilution steps by a factor of 10) is naturally replaced by a binary dilution scale, by which B10 roughly corresponds to X3. The most effective dilutions found in our experiments were B56 and B64. Here are some of our freeware homeopathic anti virus files. To use them, select the green bit with your mouse, then use your browser's copy and paste commands to copy it into a new file, (called for example SIRCAM.TXT), which you should then save in your root directory. Do not be tempted to type the bit in manually, as that would break the machine-to-machine continuity of the copy-and-paste procedure.
 
Virus Source Material Dilution Bit Comments
Sircam32  worm
B56  1 Classic worm, still worth guarding against.
Red Team B64  0 Masqueradies as an anti-virus program
Zafi D
B64  1  New Dec. 2004, masquerades as a Christmas Card
Sober-I   B56  0 Resurrects itself.  Cure may require several treatments.
Bagel.AT
B56   1 Masquerades as a joke.


Multimodal Mystery Bit Therapy (MMBT).  Our institute has pioneered a new multimodal therapy combining the principles of homeopathy and double-blind experimentation. This may sound complicated, but underlying idea is quite simple: by choosing randomly among many toxins, in such a way that neither you nor we know which one we have chosen, we can prepare a remedy effective against all of them. In 1999 we used this approach quite successfully against the Y2K problem*, and now we offer it against a collection of the 100 most common and dangerous computer viruses. To prepare our multimodal antivirus therapy, we start with a collection of unlabelled disks, each containing a different virus. The disks are placed in an urn and one is chosen at random. This "mystery virus" is then subjected to a B64 dilution. A single bit from the diluted virus is then electronically transferred to a file on our server, taking care that no human has an opportunity to observe whether the bit value is zero or one (such observation, of course, would rule out about half the original viruses, rendering the treatment ineffective against them). We offer this Multimodal Mystery Bit for free download, but before you do so, read the following IMPORTANT  DIRECTIONS. In order to preserve effectiveness against our entire collection of viruses, you should download the file and save it on your root directory without opening or viewing it, or allowing anyone else to. To safely download, you should right-clickthe following button, then follow the "Save Link As..." dialog to store the file "MMBT.txt" in your root directory. Do not left-clickthe button, as that might cause the file to be opened in an editor, exposing it to damaging observation.
 
Right-Click Here to Download MMBT.TXT

If you do accidentally view the mystery bit, and are unable to forget it, all is not lost.  Simply wait a few weeks and download it again from our site.  Approximately once a month we repeat the homeopathic double-blind preparation, resulting in a new (and possibly different)  Mystery Bit.
*Starting in mid-1999, our site offered a multimodal mystery bit "Y2KOK.TXT" as a preventative for Y2K problems.  Although only a few dozen people downloaded it, we believe that it protected most of the world's computers against serious Y2K problems,  through a combination of homeopathic and morphogenetic (see below) effects.



Astrological system analysis For many companies it has become standard practice to assemble teams on the basis of astrological compatibility. Unfortunately, such simple measures for enhancing harmonious cooperation are rarely observed in computer manufacturing. We offer a program, which analyzes the astrological compatibility of the main system components of your Windows PC, such as motherboard, memory units, hard disk and other drives, keyboard, and monitor, and, of course, yourself. The necessary "birth dates" are reconstructed from the serial numbers, which our program automatically collects and interprets. Since not only the production date, but also, e.g., the date of the last complete format operation are astrologically relevant, the program also gives recommendations of beneficial times for re-formatting your disk drives.

Meditational Wait States. Many of us have experienced the beneficial influence of meditation on intellectual work. Computers normally are never put into such a state of cleansing emptiness. The "turned off" computer is more like a dead brain, whereas the normal idle computer is usually really in a loop asking for keyboard or mouse interrupts millions of times per second. We have developed a program, which will truly rest the CPU of your computer, by setting as many registers equal to zero as possible, allowing for subsequent revival. For achieving more specific effects the program can also run a mantra or a prayer through the CPU registers. 

Note that no program written in a high level language such as C or C++ can achieve such effects, since the control of individual CPU registers is highly machine dependent. Therefore, you will have to submit some details of your computing system in order to choose the right product.

Web Disentanglement Device. The theory of quantum computing is one of the most recent branches of computer science, based on the most advanced physical theory. Scientists working in this field have proved that virtually every interaction between physical systems leaves a subtle trace of correlation called entanglement. Thus computers, which have been connected to the internet for a long time become increasingly entangled with computers the world over. This ultimately leads to an increased rate of bits lost in transmission. We have developed a search engine, which can trace such entanglements with a given computer by sending out carefully constructed queries to the net. The entanglements are then treated, and normally reduced by more than 67 dB, by running a special purpose decoherence program. 
 Natural Food For Your Computer.  The electricity you feed your computer is clearly an industrial product. Some of it comes from nuclear power plants, or other such places you would hardly want to go yourself. Moreover, electricity being distributed over a network, you have absolutely no control over what ecologically dubious places the current flowing through your computer has gone before. Although it is usually not practical to wean computers completely from commercial current, its harmful effects can be mitigated by regular supplementation with home-generated, organic electricity from one of our popular lemon batteries.

Earth Ray Analyzer. Obviously, geomantic radiation may be very damaging to computer operation. Therefore, it is also possible to detect such adverse influences by running a suitable program. Our program performs a statistical analysis of certain random procedures carried out at system level. It takes about 24 hours to either come up with significant results on the level of earth rays or else can assure you of a reasonably interference-free environment. Of course, the measurements can be repeated to verify the success of relocating your computer. 
Subliminal Message Filters. An increasing number of web sites include in their pages subliminal messages, which flash on the screen only for a single monitor cycle, and are consciously perceived only as a slightly irritating flicker. It has been shown, however, that such messages do register unconsciously, and therefore may influence subsequent decisions. The contents of subliminal messages found on the web range from relatively harmless advertisements (e.g., for a certain fast food chain), to political and religious indoctrination. We offer patches for the most common browsers, which will prevent a change of screen content just for a single frame. Moreover, an alarm will be sounded at every attempt to send a subliminal message.

 Bad Vibe Filter.  "Bad Vibes" are often more harmful than viruses, subliminal messages or explicitly discourteous content ("flames") received over the internet.  But just what are Bad Vibes?  They include, but are not limited to, fraudulent or manipulative intentions, or subconsciously hostile moods on the part of the sender.  Such harmful influences can pass through a modem cable as quickly  as a hostile glance in a face-to-face meeting.  To detect and remove bad vibes, a physical interaction of the greatest subtlety is required.  We have found that specially selected quartz crystals, because of their piezoelectric properties and natural birefringence, are best suited for the job.  After prolonged heavy use, you may find that one of our crystals loses its effectiveness.  If this happens, do not attempt to fix it yourself. Simply return the crystal to us for re-annealing.  This inexpensive heat treatment restores the crystal's potency by removing and safely disposing of accumulated internal stresses.  It should be noted that our crystals are bidirectional: they remove outgoing as well as incoming bad vibes.  We do not sell unidirectional crystals.

Morphogenetic Field Generator. According to the Theory of the Morphogenetic Field by  Rupert Sheldrake, the evolution of structures and shapes is a cooperative effect: If a structure has evolved anywhere in the world, this structure becomes increasingly likely to emerge everywhere else. This effect explains, for example, the evolution of eggs into chickens, because there have already been so many chickens who have made this transition. Moreover, it can act retroactively so that, in this example, the chicken-to-be helps shaping the organism. With the advent of computer technology it is no longer necessary to leave the emergence of the basic patterns to blind chance. Using our products, you may generate them at will and at fantastic rates. Of course, the morphogenetic field generated in this way has the strongest effect on like events, i.e., on patterns you may want to achieve on your computer. A particular favourite is the screen declaring you the winner in an internet casino. When running these programs it is recommended to deactivate screen savers, so that the desired pattern actually appears on the screen. But of course, this is not strictly necessary, because the screen image is merely a copy of certain memory areas. Therefore it is possible (though slightly less effective) to run our programs with monitor turned off, or more interestingly, as a background task on multitasking operating systems.

 

 

We are also conducting research into the possibility generating morphogenetic effects outside the computer. This is truly an experiment that might change the world. It would mean that you could let your computer do your wishful thinking AND be successful at it!



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(Web Site (c) R. Werner,  C.H. Bennett 1999, 2001.  Email bennetc@bestweb.net)