More about
me...

Who am I?

I am 40 years old, with my fair share of grey hair. The rest is black (started blonde and just got darker with time). I have green eyes, a temper to match, a goofy sense of humor and a lopsided grin. I am a real mutt -- German, French (been here forever, by way of Canada to upstate NY), English, Irish and Native American (intermingled with the French Canadian side of the family). I have been a vegetarian since I was seven years old, because I didn't want to eat anything that might have been a friend.

I'm a lawyer by training, and a poet and painter by nature. I also love photography, sculpture and pottery and I have had my photos, paintings and several ceramic pieces included in group shows at Leela Bora's Upper View Gallery, 6 North Division Street, Peekskill, NY, as well as at the Croton Free Library.

I am no longer practicing law at this point in my life.

Several years ago, I took a ride in an elevator that plunged approximately 30 floors at the building where I worked. The elevator accident left me with chronic pain from multiple herniated discs, osteoarthritis, degenerative disc disease, as well as post-traumatic stress disorder ("PTSD"), dysthymia, panic attacks and agoraphobia (a tendency to hide out in my house, away from anything that reminds me of the accident). Unfortunately, working as a lawyer reminds me of it, as does waking up every morning in pain, and a bunch of other things... My condition makes it impossible for me to work a high stress legal job.

So instead, I have gone back to my first love, the arts, and am devoting myself to painting and pottery. Art seems to be one of the best forms of therapy for me, because it forces me to focus on the present. I also have used a Service Dog to try to mitigate my disabilities, but she is now medically retired and I have yet to find a new SD, which means I am even more homebound than I used to be.

I have learned the warped lessons of PTSD -- isolate yourself, and there is less pain, because at least you don't have to deal with the fact that you don't appear normal; isolate yourself and you can take refuge in being (or at least convincing yourself that you are) numb.-- Even though I have lost many battles with my PTSD, I am working at fighting my demons.

After years of being silenced, told that I had nothing to say that anyone wanted to hear, shushed about my pain (can't whine, its unattractive), silenced about my PTSD (Aren't you over that yet? You gotta get on with your life! --or-- Don't talk about it, it makes people squirm!) and generally only singing the socially acceptable songs someone else wrote for me, I am finally coming out of the darkness and singing my own songs.

I am finally trying to learn how to honor myself, not just others. I am allowing the artistic side of myself, which I have squashed for years while trying to be practical, to come out of the box in the attic I stuffed it into. I am writing again, poems, songs, and even (oh, please let me finish it someday) a novel.

I am trying to learn not to give up so easily in order to avoid making waves.

Family

My husband, Kevin Coyne, is my high school sweetheart. We waited many years to have our amazing son, because the idea of being a parent with my disabilities scared me. I've since learned that while I will never be the perfect parent, I have more than enough love and determination to be a good mama. My son is the single most amazing blessing in my life. He gives me a reason to get up in the morning and go on fighting even when my disabilities are kicking my butt. And he's turning into an awesome person, who is loving and sweet and funny and incredibly smart. I have a great kid! I am also blessed to have had an incredible Service Dog to assist me with my disabilities. Unfortunately, Mocha is old now and as disabled as I am, and can no longer work, but she's still a wonderful member of our family. We lost our sweet little scottie Piper to complications from diabetes awhile back. She went completely blind, but still found so much joy in life. She is an inspiration.

Stuff that I like:

Archaeology, anthropology, mythology, history, poetry, writing fiction, painting, making my son laugh, walking down country roads with silly dogs, playing with clay, howling at the moon, singing old country tunes, photography, pen & ink, just about anything creative and messy.

How to contact me:

You can email me at the email address above. Or snail mail me at:

P.O. Box 188
Croton-on-Hudson, NY 10520

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Mocha & Michele, a Service Dog Team